Thursday, August 11, 2011

BASK...365 Words of Well-Being for Women (day 14)

Bask in the warmth of the summer sun.  When your friend finishes college after twenty years, bask in the glow of her joy.  Bask in the moonlight.  Bask in another woman's glory without needing to snatch any of it your yourself.  Bask in the presence of a newborn child no matter whose it is.  Walk into a well-tended garden and bask in the colors and the scents and the profusion of textures.  Just drink it in.  Let the crisp autumn air wash over you; let the serenity of a windswept grassy plain envelop you.  When you walk into a room overflowing with a sacred hush, bask in it.  When everyone in your family is in one room, bask in it.  Don't talk, don't question, don't ask, just bask.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women, by Rachel Snyder (Day 13)


Don't ever consider paying retail.  Offer five to start, and expect to pay three by the time you're done.  All right, settle for four.  Prowl through consignment shops and thrift shops and upscale second-hand shops.  Ask for a 25 percen discount because the button is falling off.  All right, settle for 15 percent.  Offer ninety-nine cents for that last piece of pie, the one with the broken crust and the forlorn filling.  When your boss offers you a raise, bargain for fewer hours instead.  When your partner offers to watch the kids for an afternoon, bargain until you've got yourself a three-day weekend.  Use your bargaining power to empower yourself.  Come to the bargaining table with your eyes wide open--just in case you're hit with a lot more than you bargained for.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women By Rachel Snyder (Day 12)


When you find yourself teetering too far in one direction, bring some balance back into your life.  Balance your work time with playtime.  Balance your social butterflying with quiet, uninterrupted periods of solitude.  If you've been giving too much, let everyone knwo you're ready to receive.  Balance your diet.  too much on any one thing--no matter how good--can never be good.  If you've been running around at breakneck speed, slow down before an accident or injury does it for you.  If you've been sitting in front of a screen (any screen!) for too long, get ukp from your chair and dance or walk or swim or stretch.  WHen you feel like you've been balancing too many things for too long, put some down.  Do it slowly and mindfully, so you don't lose your balance whild you do.

Monday, August 8, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women, By Rachel Snyder (day 11)


Bake bread the old-fashioned way.  Bake muffins crammed full of blueberries.  Bake exotic cakes with unpronounceable names and multicolored frosting.  Bake tortillas, flatbreads, scones, cookies, biscotti.  Make little people out of dough and bake them into life.  Make them elves, hobbits, gremlins with vests and boots and long beards and braids, and hang them on trees or walls or shelves.  Bake because it smells like the very best kitchen you ever remember, because it feels good to have flour on your hands and vanilla on your fingers.  Bake because you want to lick the whole bowl yourself without asking anyone's permission.  Bake because you really enjoy wearing an apron.  Bake because women have always baked and always will, and only by baking will you understand why.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

365 Word of Well-Being for Women, by Rachel Snyder (Day 10)


Wake up!  Refuse to sleepwalk through your life any longer.  Wake up!  Open your eyes and dare to see the world in a new and different way.  Wake up!  Awaken your passion for life and awaken it in those around you.  Awaken yourself spiritually. Find something larger than yourself to believe in.  Find a way to life youself above the mundane. Wake up!  Smell the coffee!  Take a long, hard look at all you've been missing, and decide not to miss any more.  Awaken your senses, your intuition, your desires.  Awaken the parts of yourself that have been sleeping:  the lover, the trickster, the artist, the maiden, the crone.  Wake up, and don't go back to sleep.  Life is a dream and to live it, yo must be awake!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women, (Day 9)


Like a high-powered magnet, attract to yourself everything you desire.  Attract the right job by being impeccably clear about what you want--and why.  (Making some calls and sending a few letters won't hurt either!)  Attract the mone you need by affirming your worthiness and your willingness to receive.  (Taking an action step or two won't hurt either!)  To attract loving relationships, be as kind as caring, as attractive as the people you want to meet.  Anticipate the worst--and you're certain to attract it.  To atract joy, embrace oy.  To attract a spiritual teacher, quit whining and start accepting that you are one.  To have friends, be one.  To gain respect, respect yourself first and then move on to everyone around you.  EVERYONE!

Friday, August 5, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women (Day 8)


Wishing doesn't make it so.  Ask, and you at least have a chance.  Ask anybody, ask everybody, ask God.  Ask for help with the dishes.  Ask for a ride because you don't have a car.  Ask what it's going to take for you to get a promotion.  Ask a friend for a loan.  Ask a beloved to hold you just one luscious minute more.  When a stranger asks how old you are, Ask Why does it matter?  Ask someone over for breakfast, then ask wheter they want hot fudge or peanut butter on their ice cream.  Ask yourself why it's so hard to ask.  And even harder to receive.  When the brownies are absolutely divine, ask for the recipe.  When the seminar is terminally boring, ask to be excused.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women (Day 7)


Appreciate your friends.  Appreciate the time they picked you up after your operation, even when it was snowing so hard.  Appreciate that they listen when you need to talk.  Needed to be heard.  Needed to cry.  Appreciate whoever mowed your lawn the day of the funeral.  Appreciate whoever found your overdue video, returned it and paid the fine.  When friends are in short supply, learn to appreciate being with yourself.  Appreciate having a job whre you don't have to wear a dress.  Appreciate having a job where you do.  Appreciate that your body can take you where you want to go.  If it can't, appreciate that your mind can take you there instead.  Appreciate the good men in your life.  Tell them you appreciate them and appreciate that they're learning to be well just like you.
Do you have 13 minutes to spare?  Very thought provoking, inspiring video.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women (Day 6)


Allow yourself to ask for what you need.  Allow yourself to need help, to need, love, to need other people.  Give yourself permission to say This is what I need, to say it without shame, without guilt.  Now allow yourself to receive what is offered.  Allow yourself to be human.  Allow yourself the luxury of screwing up now and then, of being less than perfect.  Allow yourself to it all down and breathe.  Now allow someone else to help you pick up the pieces.  Give them permission to love you in the only way they know how.  Every so often, allow yourself to forget about the bills and the phone calls and the deadlines.  Allow yourself the freedom to feel exactly how you feel, to be exactly where you are in any given moment.  Allow others the freedom to do the same.

Monday, August 1, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women by Rachel Snyder (Day 5)

Day 5


"Show the world the glorious goddess that lives within you.  When everyone else is wearing shapeless T-shirts and running shoes, wear a sundress that ripples in the slightest breeze.  If you like fingernail polish, wear it!  Ditto for your toes.  If you're the only woman on the crew, wear hot pink lipstick and thirteen earrings just to drive home the point.  Take a hing from the women of India, from the Rom women of Eastern Europe, from the Native American elders and Mexican senoritas.  Make every day a celebration by dressing the part.  Let your body be a canvas for colorful creations.  Add one bracelet this week and three the next.  Wear as much makeup as you want.  Get a tattoo or three or four.  Wear flowers in your hair, ribbons at your throat, silk at your waist, and bells on your toes.  If that's not your style, keep your adornments under wraps for select eyes only."

Saturday, July 30, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women by Rachel Snyder (Day 4)

Day 4


"Admire other women and let them know exactly how you feel.  Admire them because they lived in the White House or because they built their won white house with their own two hands.  Admire them because they danced and sang their way across Broadway or because they danced an old Irish jig every Sunday at the local nursing home.  Admire a woman because she raised tow great kids single-handedly; admrire a woman who kept a marriage thriving and alive for more than fifty-two years.  Admire a plain woman who turns heads with her ever-present smile.  Admire the grandmother who took on a new family when her goddaughter died.  Admire that woman in the newspaper for her grit and determination.  Admire the woman who never got into the newspaper for her selfless devotion to the dying.  Tell her I admire you.  Write a note that says so.  While you're at it, remember to drop yourself a postcard, too."

Thursday, July 28, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women by Rachel Snyder (Day 3)

Day 3


When it's time, get moving. 
After you've reflected and meditated, waited, prayed, and reaffirmed, act.  Act on your instincts.  act without delay.  Send the letter.  Make the call.  Pack the box.  Issue the invitation.  Get on the plane.  ACT already!  Act with your own best interests at heart.  Act in accordance with your most closely held values.  Act mindfully.  Act on behalf of the very young or the very old or the very needy.  Now and then, act half your age.  Act out in your own living room, act up in public.  Strut around and act as thought you own the joint.  Act like the woman you've always wanted to be--and don't act surprised when suddenly you are!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women by Rachel Snyder (Day 2)

Day 2


"Feel deep down inside the pain of missing someone or something so badly it hurts.  Notice the empty spaces around your heart that need filling.  Tune into other aches in your body.  When your belly burns with red-hot fire, pay attention.  What is the true source of your ache?  What are you trying to digest that's too large, too hot, too unfamiliar to handle?  Ache for the friend who died of AIDS too early.  Ache for the mothering you never received, the love you had and then lost, the love you never had at all.  Ache to be held, to be touched, to be adored.  Ache for the sad woman down the block, the frightened child upstairs, the grieving parents around the corner.  Let your heart ache and break and ache again--until it grows stronger and more able to open with ease."

Sunday, July 24, 2011

365 Words of Well-Being for Women by Rachel Snyder (Day 1)

Day 1


"Recognize what you can change and what you can't.  In every moment, accept that everything is as it should be.  Accept that your body is round and fat and glorious.  Just love it.  Accept that you don't do things the way everyone else does.  Just embrace it.  Accept that somethims your belly hurts, sometimes you don't have enought money to pay the light bill, sometimes life is too hard.  Just cry and move through it.  Accept that you can't do it all--and whou would want to anyway?  Aceept a kind word.  Don't apologize.  Accept a gift--no matter how big, how small.  Say Thank you without embarrassment.  Accept that life isn't always fair and find the wonder in that, too.  Don't accept things that aren't yours, like misdirected shame and blame.  Like credit for someone else's accomplishment.  Like disrespect.  Accept everything you are and nothing you are not."

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Photo by Nikko Gibbler

I sit behind shattered glass,
Sometimes quietly,
But most times tormented,
My vision distorted, as life passes by.

The sun rises in all its glory
Casting its light upon the earth,
Awakening the world to the beauty which abounds.
But, I see only the shadows.

The sun sets,
Leaving behind a trail of majestic colors
For all to view,
As a reminder of the coming of a new day
Filled with hope and promises.
But, I see only clouds of gray.

The moon and the stars fill the night sky
With a gentle tranquility,
So the world may slumber in fearless peace.
But, I see only darkness.

As I sit behind this glass.
In loneliness and solitude,
I desperately wonder why it had to be shattered;
Why some were spared the violent storms
And were left unscathed,
Their vision filled with the beauty of life.

The only answer fills my heart with pain and grief—
Fate is cruel; life is unkind;
And evil runs rampant and unleashed in the world, beyond

The Shattered Glass.

6-19-1994  Please do not copy.  Copyright protected.  Any use or reproduction is unauthorized.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Brother Bear

I wanted to mention that "Brother Bear" is a very touching movie, at least in my opinion.  I forgot to mention this in the previous post!!

 (another excellent movie:  "Eat, Pray, Love" and "The Secret Lives of Bees".  Just had to mention it...I hardly ever see movies until they come out on Netflix!!)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


Brother Bear:  Take a look through my eyes...
Phil Collins video on YouTube.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Can You?


Can You?

Can you stand by my side
While in this darkness I abide?
Is it unfair to ask,
A too burdensome task?

Can you find strength enough to share
When I fall hopelessly into despair?
Will the fear be to great and push you away
Making it impossible for you to stay?

Can you find a safe place in your heart
To keep the hope which in my life is not a part?
I promise to never forget it is there—
To go on living, though my soul is bare.

Can you teach me about your faith in God
And light the path on which I trod?
From you I can learn about the love
That is blessed and sent from heaven above.

Can you help me out of this awful pain
So my life will not have been lived in vain?
Tell me, is it too much to ask
To know who I am without the mask?

Please do not copy in any way.  Copyright protected. Thank you.
Picture not copyright infringement intended.

Monday, June 6, 2011



“Mourn not the dead that in the cool earth lie—

But rather mourn the apathetic throng—

The cowed and the meek—

Who see the world’s great anguish and it’s wrong

And dare not speak.

~~Ralph Chaplin

Solidarity Forever

Just a thought—apathy seems to be running rampant in our world.  The only thing that seems to bring humanity together is a tragedy.  Then we work together to fix the damage or correct the wrong.  But, what are we doing on those quiet days, when the tornado has not destroyed the town; the bombs have not killed people; the planes have not crashed into the buildings?

Do we have a passion to which we commit?  Do we go out and make a difference? It does not have to be a huge difference—just a simple hello, a smile, a wave, a phone call, or an email.  A response given to those in need or that have reached out to you. 

I beg you to reach out—because everyone is fighting some sort of battle.  Suffering happens to all of us.  What makes the difference in people’s lives is our reaction to their pain. 

How will you react today?  Whose life will you touch?

I hope someone’s.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


'The journey through life is not supposed to be easy; it is supposed to be real.'

Before I begin on the topic about which I have chosen to write, I would like to make one statement.  As I have stated on my ‘mantra’ page, I am Christian.  However, I believe that we can learn many things from other philosophies and other religions.  Life is a journey. Why not be open to all inspirational things that can help us walk on our path with less difficulty, less stress, less negativity, less judgments and NO labels?  I strive to be real, because to pretend is unkind, not only to yourself but to all people you encounter.  To feign, in my opinion is the worst emotional injustice you can inflict on others.  Well, with all that said, here is my post.
“Life is Short”
Four Mind Changes:
A reminder of the reality of Karma.
Please reflect on the following:

 I.   I have been blessed with a life in which I can do many things to further my own happiness and the happiness of those around me.  It would be a shame to waste this wondrous opportunity by engaging in useless and meaningless activities; it would be a pity to waste this life by not fulfilling one’s spiritual potential.

 II.  Life is short:  There’s no time to waste.  Reflecting upon death is not meant to be a morbid practice.  In fact, it can have the opposite effect; it can help ground us in the here and now and make us appreciate the wonderful miracle of life each moment as it’s given to us now.

III.  The journey through life isn’t supposed to be easy; it’s supposed to be real.  Regularly contemplating the travails of our journey helps us to stay realistic about what life is and is not.  Do not be depressed by these thoughts.  Instead, recognize the joys that can be found by staying grounded and real.  Every dip and rise, every twist and turn is part of the infinite journey; why turn aside from any of it.

IV.  Our Karma is the one thing we carry with us always.  Thinking about your karma helps you face the truth about your own experience, it helps you make changes when necessary.  Do not think about changing anybody else’s behavior—just your own.  What can you do today to change the way you feel tomorrow?”  
---Lama Surya Das

When I first read this, I was at a loss for words.  My thoughts were about the parents and how to cope with the death of a child; for truly, it is not the norm for a child to leave this world first.  But, it does happen.  However, this young man’s memorial service was not focused on the living, not selfishly created for those left behind.  It was a celebration of his life.  It was facing the reality that our time on this earth is limited and uncertain.  Even through the death of a child, we live on and must create a new path for ourselves; a path that no longer includes a part of our being—a creation and gift from God, Creator, Higher Power, Source or any other word of your choice—our child.

If you read my blog, you will know that my daughter has been estranged from us for a while now…HER CHOICE not mine.  It has felt similar to a ‘death’.  This is her path, her karma.  Finally, I have decided that I can no longer be depressed by her actions.  While, it still hurts very much, I have to move on with my life.  I can no longer be stagnant.  The only growth while being stagnant is algae.  If you were to define algae it means any group of lower plants having chlorophyll but not a vascular system.  So what does this mean?  The etymology of vascular is Latin vascularis, from Latin vasculum small vessel, diminutive of vas vase, vessel.  In reference to our human body, vascular is all about the heart, the blood, the flow of life.  I can no longer allow my heart to not beat.  I can no longer live outside of life.  I need to fill my vessel with life giving force.  I need to flow like a river. I must create a new path with every current that ‘twists and turns’ and changes the boundaries of its banks —my life. 

This is life.  I have to live.  I cannot change her behavior, but I can change my own.  So, today I am going to pray that I can do something to change the way I feel tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ray Lamontagne...EMPTY....Till the Sun Turns Black










Monday, May 16, 2011

To: ‘Meus Vicis’ You are the butterfly.

It was a beautifully written note.  I could feel your sense of not belonging.  I could hear the pain in your words caused by the change of who you are becoming.  Most of the time change is for the better, but can be very confusing and does create a sense of loss.  I have heard it said that ‘You can never go home once you have left’.  I am not sure if those are the exact words used.  But it is close enough!  Here are my thoughts on the subject. It is not so much that you cannot go home, but that ‘home’ will never feel the same.  It is a part of our transition into adulthood.  The more you find out about yourself away from home, the more ‘home’ becomes distant in your mind…yes, like the Emerald City.  However, remember you originated and have come from the Emerald City with a heart, courage, an awesome brain, and a home waiting for the butterfly to return that has emerged from its cocoon.   You are that butterfly.  This is your time for emerging.  This is your time.  Do not fall asleep in the poppy field.  Stay awake and enjoy every moment.  Yes, you might go through some pain, some feelings of loss, some moments of not belonging—but remember they are growing pains.  At this moment in time you are still tethered to your home, yet learning to fly alone.  One day, you will find your own home.  But know that through all of this change, you are never alone.  You still have a home, a place to rest.  And what a wonderful home it is. 

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

THE END OF THE WORLD by Skeeter Davis

Near the End
By Caprice
Alone again her heart is dying
Weeping inside her soul is crying.
Facing the reflection in the water
Shattered by what life had brought her.
Looking back on mistakes she made
Hope and happiness begin to fade.
Drifting into a black abyss
Seeing just dark and loneliness
Falling deeper the end is near
Her eyes no longer shed a tear.
All at once she sees a light
Then a voice cries out, Please fight!
A familiar presence she knows so well
What could it be?  She cannot tell.
She opens her eyes to see a face
Within the arms a warm embrace.
He speaks to her in a gentle tone
Fear not, you are no longer alone.
She asks in wonder, Are you my Savior?
Will I be forgiven of my behavior?
Smiling to this he did reply
I do not judge nor ask you “Why?”
Searching for answers she looked around
Why did you save me before I drowned?
He said to her in a whispering voice,
I could not help it, I had no choice.
For I too have been near the end
Now I come to you as a friend.

Happy Mother's Day

Friday, May 6, 2011


Oh, Mother, where art thou?

My wish for all mothers:  I hope you have a safe, joy-filled day with your children.

If that is not possible, then remember to look up.  Look at the sky, the trees; feel the warmth of the sun and the breeze upon your skin.  Look beyond the clouds and imagine what lies behind them, blocking your view.  It is an amazing universe for which we have much to be thankful.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I see life passing by, like raindrops from the sky.
I try to catch the wind; instead, it sweeps me in.
It swirls out of control, as I keep growing old.

Some days I wonder why, life won’t just let me die.
Instead I must go on, and face each day unarmed.
Why does life seem so cruel, a never-ending duel.

Pondering life’s reasons, with every passing season,
Trying to live each day, not knowing what to say,
Needing to be saved from, a hopeless urge to run.
There is no place to go, I cannot hide and so—
I face each day alone, feeling I don’t belong.
I know it’s bound to end, God only knows just when.


Author's work copyright protected
Pictures from clip art


Monday, May 2, 2011

"To Exist is to Change"


No one said life would be smooth....

“…for a conscious being, to exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.”  Henri Bergson

Question:  Change, change, and more change…is this why we exist?   

Answer:  “The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.”  William Blake

VOILA!  Therein lies the answer…if we do not change we become stagnant; our minds become filled with algae…like the pool of water without air, without movement.  We die, maybe not physically, but spiritually and emotionally. No one says that change is easy.  But, change we must.  Try something new; jump onto another path; create a new journey. 

Why is it I can write about this so easily, yet when I try to incorporate it into my life it is almost impossible?  Yes, I am resistant to change.  But, through the years I have changed very much.  Mostly for the better, that is my hope and strictly my opinion.  Yet, it is not enough.  I always want to change more.  Now that I have found the above quotes, I finally realize why the yearning to change is always calling me.  It is human nature to change.  I knew that but here it is in black and white!  Set in ‘rock’ so to speak!  If we do not follow this yearning…who in their right mind wants ‘reptiles’ crawling around in their brain?  NOT ME!   So, I will continue to search.  I will continue to question.  I will decide what I need for my continued growth.  I will decide who is a part of my life.  If they are angry, negative people they will not be part of my circle of life.  Anger and negativity does not create.  If they are condescending and look down upon me or others…it is THEIR LOSS.  Life is too short.  Every day, I realize this more and more.  Today I had news from my Godmother who has ALS.  Her sister has Alzheimer’s and has been put into assisted living.  She is only around seventy years old.  After almost overdosing on her medication and spending six days in the hospital, they had to make the ‘hard’ decision.  It is not easy to put a loved one into a ‘home’.  I know this from experience.  The guilt it causes is extremely difficult to bear.  At least it was for me.  It was a frightening experience.  But, back to the point…LIFE IS SHORT PEOPLE.  Wake up and realize what is important.  We could be gone tomorrow and regrets could fill our minds.  We need to move before it is too late.  REACH OUT!  TOUCH SOMEONE!  You could be the reason someone smiles.  You could be the avenue to help a person out of loneliness or depression.   You, yes you.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Man in the Glass by Peter "Dale" Wimbrow (C) 1934

The man or woman in the glass...

What is your reflection?

The Man in the Glass by Peter “Dale” Wimbrow © 1934

I was rummaging around in one of my many collections of ‘stuff’ and came across this poem.  I thought it was worth sharing.  I did not realize back in 1989 when I found this poem, that there were two versions.  Either one is wonderful.  The original version, "The Guy in the Glass" can be viewed at the link above, just click on the title.  The only difference is a few words…the first being ‘pelf’ instead of ‘self’.  Pelf means money or riches.  I found this to be very interesting.  To compare the ‘self’ to ‘pelf’…indeed the ‘self’ can either be poor or rich, depending on how we choose to live our lives.  This is just a thought to stir your imagination.

The Man in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife,
Who judgment upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest.
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed the most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years.
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be the heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Today is the first day of the rest of my life...

Well is not that just a wonderful thought!!!! (sarcasm duly noted)
Chaos at Orion...NASA PHOTO
 Chaos in my mind!  If only it were that beautiful!

Anyway, I joined an online book club.  Okay, so it is online.  However it is still contact with the 'outer world'.  We are reading a book titled "The Help".  Within the first few pages something truly grabbed my attention.  So, of course I 'bookmarked and highlighted' the section on my Nook. (A hated but necessary gadget for me...I can enlarge the text!)  The woman in the book had been through some terrible pains in her life.  The last one was too much to bear.  This is the quote, "I seen something in me had changed.  A bitter seed was planted inside a me.  And I just didn't feel so accepting anymore."
Oh my goodness.  Can I relate.  While I try to fight this 'bitterness' with all that is inside of me, sometimes I feel it there, controlling my thoughts and some of my actions.  It is not evil.  It is a 'test'.  I remember the events that led up to this 'bitter seed' being planted in me.  Events I have yet to let go.  Sometimes life can be overwhelmingly painful and in spite of ones faith, an attitude of not feeling accepting of other people can become a part of the self.  In my opinion, everyone handles this differently.  Some people express it through anger.  But, me...I express it by becoming isolated and depressed and lonely.  Which is worse?  For me, anger is worse because you have the potential to hurt other people.  Believe me, I do not get ANY satisfaction from hurting others.  That is one reason why certain people are no longer in my life.  Just because THEY hurt ME to the core, is no excuse for me to take REVENGE upon them.  In my opinion, sometimes this is the only way to deal with people who have inflicted their wrath upon you.  You forgive them and move on with your life.  You do not have to continue to subject yourself to their abuse.  Probably, all it would take for them to again be a part of my life is a simple, "I'm sorry".   I feel shunned by them because they will not reach out.  With all the history I have with these people, it is THEIR turn to reach out.  Their silence speaks volumes and it is saying to me that I am not important enough for them to extend their hand.   BUT, even if they somehow found the EMPATHY to apologize, they would be a part of my life in a different way.  It would never be the same as before...I do not think I could allow myself to ever truly trust them again.  My faith commands forgiveness.  But it does not command tolerating abuse.  Maybe I am wrong.  Maybe one day I will view all of this differently.  Not now.  Not yet.

Bitter seed, oh, bitter seed,
Please don't turn my life into a bitter weed.

I am not very good at 'weeding'.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Holy Thursday's Service

I do not have the words to describe it.  Beautiful yet haunting.  I sat there in tears as the choir sang the last song.  It was moving.  So, I let my "tears water my soul".

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Easter Triduum


Today begins an important time in my religion...The Triduum. The term Triduum means three days. 
The three days are counted as the Hebrews counted their days, from dusk to dusk. Therefore, the three days of the Easter Triduum are from dusk on Holy Thursday to dusk on Good Friday (day one), dusk on Good Friday to dusk on Holy Saturday (day two), and dusk on Holy Saturday to dusk on Easter Sunday (day three). Each of those days "tells" a different part of the story of Jesus' saving action. On Holy Thursday we remember the Last Supper. Jesus gives us the Eucharist and tells us to "Do this in memory of me." He then washes the feet of the apostles. On Good Friday we remember the passion and death of Jesus. We celebrate the resurrection of Christ either at the Easter Vigil on Saturday night when new members are baptized and welcomed into our Catholic community or on Easter Sunday morning.
We look at the Easter Triduum as one single celebration that lasts for three days. We cannot separate the death of Jesus from his resurrection. We do not spend all of the three days in church, but at various times during those days, we are called to church to gather and remember together. When we are not in church, we are asked to keep the spirit of those days even in our homes, if possible. Those days are not days of "business as usual."

Many people are under the impression that Lent ends with Easter Sunday, but Lent really ends at dusk on Holy Thursday. Our forty-day preparation for celebrating a good Easter is complete on Thursday; our time is up. All regular masses in a parish are suspended to allow for only one mass, the mass of the Last Supper held always on Thursday evening. There are no daytime masses held anywhere in the Catholic world, only the evening mass which begins the Triduum celebration.

Because the procession of Holy Thursday is the procession for a three-day celebration, it is larger and more encompassing than the procession of a regular Sunday mass. One part of the procession exclusive to Holy Thursday is the procession of the holy oils. The oils used in the parish throughout the year are received at the Chrism Mass, a special mass held once a year at the cathedral and presided over by the bishop. All the oil used in the entire diocese is blessed and presented to each parish at that time.

The sacred Scripture which we hear this night reminds us of the first Passover meal of the Israelites as they prepare for their journey out of slavery in Egypt. We then hear of the institution of the Eucharist by Christ and his admonition of "Do this, in remembrance of me." And then we have the wonderful example of the service to which we all are called when Jesus, who is Lord and master, takes a basin of water and a towel and washes the feet of his apostles ending with the words, "What I just did was to give you an example: as I have done, so you must do." Christ saves us from the slavery of sin, the Eucharist nourishes and strengthens us so that we can serve our brothers and sisters. In order to reinforce this important teaching of Jesus, the presider of the mass washes the feet of members of the parish family.

The mass continues; we receive the Eucharist and the final blessing. The Blessed Sacrament is then taken to the chapel to rest there; the sanctuary is cleared, and we are invited to stay and vigil with the Blessed Sacrament until midnight, if we so desire. There is no procession to end this mass because the celebration does not end. The prayer continues in our homes until we are called together again on Good Friday to remember the next part of the story of our salvation.

Something which has always set Good Friday apart is that it is a day of fast and abstinence. Because we are asked to fast on Good Friday, we often think of this day as part of Lent. But remember that Lent ended at dusk on Thursday. The fast of Good Friday is not the Lenten fast of discipline and repentance. It is the excited, nervous fasting of anticipation. We might all have experienced this type of fast before a wedding (a happy time) or before a wake or funeral (a sad time). At these times food is not important to us. On Friday we remember that something monumental happened. We remember that someone died so that we might live - not just someone, but God.

We begin the service in silence with no procession. There is no need to process. This service does not stand alone; it is a continuation of what began on Holy Thursday. The priest kneels or more often prostrates himself as a sign of utter humility before God. During the Liturgy of the Word, the Passion of Christ is proclaimed. We listen and remember how Jesus suffered and died for our sins. After the Passion we are reminded that there are many people in the world who need our prayers, and so in our role as priestly people we pray a more lengthy and elaborate form of the General Intercessions.

Then a cross, the symbol of our salvation, is brought forward for us to venerate. The veneration of the cross is a practice unique to Good Friday. It is our opportunity to humble ourselves before the awesome saving action of Christ. We approach the cross and acknowledge its power in a number of ways. We can genuflect before the cross, kiss it, kneel before it, touch it with our hand, or stand before it and say a short prayer. The method we choose to show our respect is our own choice. After veneration we participate in a simple reception of the Eucharist and then leave church again in silence to continue our prayer and fasting at home and to return on Saturday evening for the Easter Vigil.

The Easter Triduum begins with the mass of the Lord's Supper on Holy Thursday; it reaches its high point in the Easter Vigil, celebrated on Saturday night. This celebration is a long one; we have a lot to do this evening. We proclaim with fire and song that Christ is risen. We listen to the Scripture stories of God's interaction with humankind from creation through to the resurrection.

We baptize those desiring to be Catholic and confirm and give Eucharist to those seeking full membership in the Catholic Church. Then we are strengthened with the spiritual food of Christ's body and blood.

Because we have a lot to do this evening, we need time to do it well. Some people think of the celebration of the Easter Vigil as just another mass, but one that is longer than a Sunday mass. This is not true. There are things we do at the Easter Vigil that we do at no other time in the church year. The most significant of these is the welcoming of new members into our Church and our parish. They have been studying and learning about what it means to be Catholic for a year, and now it is time for them to become one of us. We hear more of Holy Scripture proclaimed on this night because our salvation history is a long story dating back to the creation of the world. We build a large fire outside to remind us that Jesus is our light in the darkness, and after lighting the new Easter candle from this first fire, we process it into the darkened church and hear of Christ's resurrection. We need time to do all of these things well.
A vigil is a watch kept for an extended period of time. In our daily lives we might keep vigil as we wait by the telephone or in a hospital waiting room for news. We cannot rush a vigil; it must take as long as it takes. The same is true of the Easter Vigil on Saturday night. As masses go, it is considerably longer than a Sunday mass. As vigils go, it is relatively short.

So this is the focus of our week as Catholics.  It is a holy, serene time for me.  As a member of the Hand Bell Choir...I will participate in all the services.  To be there and experience is inexplicable.

@some of the information in this post is quoted from Nativity Catholic Church

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter filled with many blessing and the love of family and Christ.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Well, the phone delivery was made yesterday evening.  I was so anxious before that I had to call my therapist for support.  She wanted to know how I felt about giving her another phone.  I told her I felt good about it, because I did not want our daughter to be without any way to contact someone if she needed help.  And besides, when we made this "agreement" with our daughter, we said we would provide a cell phone.  So there, short and to the point, was my answer.  IT IS OKAY TO GIVE HER THE PHONE.  She said, "You do it because it makes you feel better.  You do it because it gives you peace."  So how wrong can it be.  All in all, I think it went well.  I helped her learn the basic functions, because it is one of those 'new fangled gadgets'.  (Did I just make up that word 'fangled'...cannot find it in my electronic dictionary).  In fact, her first words when she saw it were, "It's one of those touch screen phones...I don't know if I can figure it out."  I ended up staying on the porch with her for probably about forty minutes.  It was a relief to see her after almost a year.  She looked okay.  She did not look happy, but I think there is a LOT for which she has to be that was not a surprise.


UNTIL...I went to group.  It is very difficult to go there.  But, I think it is a way to get out of the house.  Hey, it is a way to get me into something other than my 'hanging around the house' clothes.  It forces me to move.  There...positive affirmations about the group!!   I am trying.  I should at least get an 'A' for effort...or a sticker...or a gold star...or something!!! "ANYONE, ANYONE....BUELLER, Ferris, are you there?"