Monday, April 4, 2011
Her Way or The Highway
I cannot stop thinking about her. I am afraid for her. Is it an illness or is it something totally different. Something for which I have no words. Everyone says "tough love" is the solution. Let me tell you what "tough love" means to me. First, there are the nightmares that make you wake up crying. Let us talk about the guilt of feeling you have abandoned a part of your soul. Then there is the fear of not knowing what will happen if she would get evicted from her apartment. And then by gosh, there is the PAIN of loving someone so much and not wanting them to suffer. The futlileness of being alive without them in your life. But, that leads us to CHOICES. This is the path she has chosen. We have given and offered so many times to help. We can no longer keep up the offers. Not when she will not budge an inch. Not when the word "compromise" is not in her vocabulary. Relationships are two way streets. Not a 'one way' highway where she is the "eighteen wheeler" barrelling down the highway ready to run over and destroy the very people trying to help her. How did this happen? When did she change? Why did she change so suddenly? Is it because of all that happened to her--her past haunting her? Is it the dreaded Huntington's disease? I need answers. Please GOD, give me answers. Maybe I will not like what I hear...but it would be much better than the silence I am living in right now. The silence is deafening. The silence is cruel. Please, please I need answers. Let me know what is the best path to take for everyone concerned.
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Menacy,
ReplyDeleteThis post was beautifully written! Your word pictures are very powerful! I especially loved the ones you used to describe relationships!
This is a subject that is very near to my heart. I am sorry that your life includes the circumstances you describe. I just prayed that the Lord would give me the words that might comfort you. If you are being called upon to show tough love, please know that you are doing the most loving thing possible for your loved one. My favorite definition of love is: doing what is best for the other person. Doing the most loving thing for our children often requires doing the hardest and most excruciating thing for us. I don't know you or your situation, but, you shared enough to make me confident that you are doing the right thing in letting your loved one reap the consequences of her "CHOICES". I hear the anguish in your soul and I am sorry for the pain you are dealing with.
Our Heavenly Father loves us more than any earthly parent could ever love their children. Still, He never forces us to obey and He lets us go our own way until we come to the end of ourselves and finally see the wisdom of turning to Him and doing life His way. My prayer for you is that the Lord will give you peace and rest in your soul as you put your daughter into His hands and trust Him with the outcome. I would like to share another favorite definition with you. Faith is the refusal to panic! Cling to Him as you do the painful, but right and loving thing! May God comfort your heart and soul as you wait!
Blessings, Renee'