Showing posts with label GRIEVING. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GRIEVING. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

“LIFE IS SHORT”

'The journey through life is not supposed to be easy; it is supposed to be real.'


Before I begin on the topic about which I have chosen to write, I would like to make one statement.  As I have stated on my ‘mantra’ page, I am Christian.  However, I believe that we can learn many things from other philosophies and other religions.  Life is a journey. Why not be open to all inspirational things that can help us walk on our path with less difficulty, less stress, less negativity, less judgments and NO labels?  I strive to be real, because to pretend is unkind, not only to yourself but to all people you encounter.  To feign, in my opinion is the worst emotional injustice you can inflict on others.  Well, with all that said, here is my post.
THIS IS IN MEMORY OF A FALLEN SOLDIER.  I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH HIS MOTHER.  FOR PRIVACY REASONS I WILL NOT REVEAL ANY NAMES.  BUT, HE DIED AT THE TENDER AGE OF TWENTY SIX.  THIS QUOTE WAS ON THE BACK OF THE MEMORIAL SERVICE LEAFLET. 
“Life is Short”
Four Mind Changes:
A reminder of the reality of Karma.
Please reflect on the following:

 I.   I have been blessed with a life in which I can do many things to further my own happiness and the happiness of those around me.  It would be a shame to waste this wondrous opportunity by engaging in useless and meaningless activities; it would be a pity to waste this life by not fulfilling one’s spiritual potential.

 II.  Life is short:  There’s no time to waste.  Reflecting upon death is not meant to be a morbid practice.  In fact, it can have the opposite effect; it can help ground us in the here and now and make us appreciate the wonderful miracle of life each moment as it’s given to us now.

III.  The journey through life isn’t supposed to be easy; it’s supposed to be real.  Regularly contemplating the travails of our journey helps us to stay realistic about what life is and is not.  Do not be depressed by these thoughts.  Instead, recognize the joys that can be found by staying grounded and real.  Every dip and rise, every twist and turn is part of the infinite journey; why turn aside from any of it.

IV.  Our Karma is the one thing we carry with us always.  Thinking about your karma helps you face the truth about your own experience, it helps you make changes when necessary.  Do not think about changing anybody else’s behavior—just your own.  What can you do today to change the way you feel tomorrow?”  
---Lama Surya Das



When I first read this, I was at a loss for words.  My thoughts were about the parents and how to cope with the death of a child; for truly, it is not the norm for a child to leave this world first.  But, it does happen.  However, this young man’s memorial service was not focused on the living, not selfishly created for those left behind.  It was a celebration of his life.  It was facing the reality that our time on this earth is limited and uncertain.  Even through the death of a child, we live on and must create a new path for ourselves; a path that no longer includes a part of our being—a creation and gift from God, Creator, Higher Power, Source or any other word of your choice—our child.

If you read my blog, you will know that my daughter has been estranged from us for a while now…HER CHOICE not mine.  It has felt similar to a ‘death’.  This is her path, her karma.  Finally, I have decided that I can no longer be depressed by her actions.  While, it still hurts very much, I have to move on with my life.  I can no longer be stagnant.  The only growth while being stagnant is algae.  If you were to define algae it means any group of lower plants having chlorophyll but not a vascular system.  So what does this mean?  The etymology of vascular is Latin vascularis, from Latin vasculum small vessel, diminutive of vas vase, vessel.  In reference to our human body, vascular is all about the heart, the blood, the flow of life.  I can no longer allow my heart to not beat.  I can no longer live outside of life.  I need to fill my vessel with life giving force.  I need to flow like a river. I must create a new path with every current that ‘twists and turns’ and changes the boundaries of its banks —my life. 

This is life.  I have to live.  I cannot change her behavior, but I can change my own.  So, today I am going to pray that I can do something to change the way I feel tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Letting go is painful...

Losing someone we are close to is a difficult, painful process.  Whether it is through death or separation, we all must go through the grieving process.   Grieving is not just crying.  It is going through many different stages:  Denial, anger, bargaining, sadness/despair, and finally acceptance.  (I think this is from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.)    In my opinion this is the only way to heal.  We go through this process with God's help.  Each stage serves a purpose and brings understanding to what is happening to us.  Nothing can make the pain stop except time.  Trying to avoid it by filling the void with substances or another person only prolongs our grief.  Of course we need support and comfort, but we need these to get through the process, not instead of it.